SpongeBob Lost Episode: The Krab Factor
Okay so one day I was walking down the street when I saw a HMV store, I was gobsmacked when I walked in and saw a SpongeBob SquarePants DVD in the first row of DVD's. I picked it up, and was rather confused by it's cover. It had a picture of an angry Mr Krabs yelling at SpongeBob who looked depressed like I did when Red Dead Redemption II was delayed to fall of 2018. The back of the DVD was blank, and the colour was a sickly orange tint. The name of the DVD was The Krab Factor. I went to the cashier who weirdly looked a lot like Clancy Brown who voices Mr Krabs to pay for my item. The cashier looked at the DVD for a few seconds before saying, "I hope you enjoy that DVD it only just came out." I told him I would, and I have him his money. The DVD despite only just coming out was only 1 pound. As I left the store, I swear I could hear the cashier laughing. His laugh sounded an awful lot like the Mr Krabs laugh. I got home to my apartment, and I popped that sucker into my ps3. Suddenly an old man came on screen it was Ralph from Friday the 13th series. He said, "that DVD you're watching will be the end of you." I ignored his warning, as the screen quickly cut to the copyright warnings before the main menu appeared. It was your standard SpongeBob menu with the theme song playing in the background, and it showed clips from various episodes including Hooky, Wet Painters, Clams, Krusty Towers, Friend Or Foe, and Money Talks along with several others. The weird thing was is that all the clips shown have Mr Krabs in them. Also, all those episodes are Mr Krabs centered. I decided not to dwell on it, as I looked at the options. There was only one option which was play episode. I found this confusing but clicked on it anyway. The episode started with the normal theme song but was the weird thing was is that the quality was incredibly good, and the animation was CGI like Sponge Out Of Water. The title card then appeared it read "The Krab Factor," and it played the same music that plays in two girls one cup. The usal bubble transition didn't occur instead it immeditatly cut to the episode. It started with Squidward sleeping on the job as always. Just like the intro the episode was in CGI, and looked like the same animation used in Sponge Out of Water. Soon a bus pulls up outside the restaurant, and a crab who looks like one of the crabs from the cheapest crab convention in the episode "Kracked krabs." He walked up to Squidward waking him up from his slumber. The crab who reveals his name to be Joe asks Squidward for a job application. Suddenly, SpongeBob and Mr Krabs appear out of thin air. Mr Krabs sees Joe and licks his lips. This made me feel really uncomfortable as he licked his lips for what seemed like hours. My hair was even starting to turn grey. Mr Krabs then said "Boyio come into my office and I'll interview you." SpongeBob looked confused and asked, "but Mr Krabs you never interviewed me and Squidward when we first came here?" Mr Krabs looked nervous and said, "it's a new policy me boy. Something to do with the stock market." I vomited. As I had eaten a lot of jammy dodgers that day. Well then Joe entered Mr Krabs office, and the scene cut to outside the office door as loud screams could be heard. They sounded horrible, and it made my feet itch. I scratched them, as the episode continued with Mr Krabs walking out of his office drenched in a red liquid which looked a lot like blood. SpongeBob who was busy mopping the floor seemed to notice this, and asked, "what's that on your shirt Mr K?" Mr Krabs laughed nervously before saying, "Oh it's just a bit of ketchup me boy I'm getting a bit dumb in me old age." SpongeBob seemed to believe this as he went back to mopping the floor. A timecard came on screen which read "two hours later," as the screen then showed the Krusty Krab full of people. SpongeBob is busy making patties only to run out of buns. He goes into Mr Krabs office to ask him for some more. "Hey Mr K I was wondering.... OH MERCIFUL Neptune!" SpongeBob cried as his face turned green, and held his nose. His eyes were watering. He went over to Mr Krabs desk the source of the smell. The odd thing was is that I could smell it through the TV as if the ps3 had some sort of smell duct. SpongeBob walked up to the desk, and opened it up. The things he saw in that desk made me sick to my stomach. I vomited so much vomit it filled the entire room. I could see the episode though don't worry my love. Inside the desk was Joe's mangled corpse which had been beaten senselessly with a blunt object. SpongeBob ran over to the safe, and broke it open. He pulled out the secret formula, and opened it up. His face turned white as he heard the door close behind him. "So now you know the truth." Mr Krabs said as he walked in holding a very sharp knife. "Mr Krabs how could you do something like this!?" SpongeBob cried. "Why do you think I called them Krabby patties in the first place?" Mr Krabs asked as he continued, "why do you think there are little to no crabs in Bikini Bottom? How come all my cheap friends at the cheapest crab convention all turned up missing a few hours after we left?" SpongeBob face was in shock as he sucked all of this in. "And our chicken salad? It's made of ocotopus. In fact, my first ocoptus was Squidward's father. He was a good guy but he tasted even better." "How long have you been doing this?" SpongeBob asked. Mr Krabs replied with, "ever since I first got the place." SpongeBob didn't say nothing else instead he got up, and ran out of the office. He cried "Krabby patties are made out of krabs!" The whole restaurant reacted by vomiting. Mr Krabs came in and tried to act unknowingly by saying "everyone knows the krabby patty is a secret family recipe me boy." "Then explain this!" SpongeBob yelled as he showed a crab arm. "You said you fired Carl the night janitor, and this is his tattoo!" "You little yellow bastard!" Mr Krabs yelled as he grabbed SpongeBob by his pants. I vomited. How could I not? Hearing such vulgar language on a show like SpongeBob SquarePants would make anyone vomit out their lunch. "Squidward! That chicken salad you're eating is ocotopus." SpongeBob cried to Squidward who was eating a chicken salad he responsed to this by vomiting. SpongeBob then told him about how Mr Krabs had murdered his father. Squiward began crying violently as a large angry mob circled around Mr Krabs. "You fuck! You fed us to us!" One of the fish cried. "No wait I can explain...." Mr Krabs began as the episode cut to the credits. The credits were normal, and after they were finished the episode cut back to the title theme only this time it had a sick picture of Mr Krabs staring at me with a dity grin. I clicked play episode again so I would be able to record it. But instead of the episode it showed footage from Hitler's speech. I was took the DVD out, and drove straight back to the HMV. I asked the store owner for the cashier who sold him the DVD. He told me he was in the backroom, and he took me in there. The guy looked at me and smiled, "so what's happening? You see the episode? You enjoy it?" "NO! Of cause I fucking didn't who made this!?" "I did." The cashier said smiling a warm smile but it gave off a sinister vibe. Suddenly, the door shut behind me. I couldn't open it. The cashier then put his large hairy and greasy hand over my mouth, and said, "I like money." as I heard an all too familiar laugh echo from his mouth. That was the last thing I heard as everything went to black. Epilogue: A few weeks after my death, a restaurant opened up in downtown called Crusty Crab. The first batch of patties were met with immeditate critical acclaim. They were known as the all new chicken burgers....